


Archaeology Assistants

by meoqie



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcohol, Alien Biology, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Archaeology, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Telepathic Bondage, Tentabulges, Vague plot/setting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-30
Updated: 2014-04-30
Packaged: 2018-01-21 08:25:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1544228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meoqie/pseuds/meoqie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dirk Strider and Sollux Captor manage the digital data for the most unprofessional archaeologist ever to exist. Work-related stress leads to inebriation, which leads to lowered inhibitions...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Archaeology Assistants

**Author's Note:**

  * For [doxian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/doxian/gifts).



> So I initially planned to fill all three Dirk + trolls requests because ugh yes Dirk with trolls is my guilty pleasure. Like a complete mook, however, I started with the request for the one troll that I have never, ever written before. So it ended up taking 3x longer than I anticipated. But on the upside it's way longer than I planned. (Over 5k words? What??)
> 
> I really don't know how well I managed to adequately fill the request? In-canon would probably have suited the parameters better but AUs are my greatest weakness and I've had this particular AU idea kicking around in my head ever since it was absently discussed in the HSWC chat and I so very desperately wanted to use it. I hope this is sufficient! 
> 
> Heaps of thanks to my marvelous beta for putting up with me being super needy and correcting my self-indulgent, developed-through-a-year-of-RPing Dirk characterization. This fic would be absolutely awful without his excellent input. My hero ;u;
> 
> I guess the setting is in a world where the trolls are still aliens but they now live on Earth. I'm... not exactly sure how that all would have worked out but shh we'll pretend it makes sense.

“This is such a fucking mess.”

 Dirk nodded slightly in agreement, shifting his right hand from where it was resting on his own keyboard a little farther away from Sollux's. The red and blue sparks flying across it as the troll typed with the assistance of his psionic abilities were getting a little more agitated, and he knew from experience that being hit with one was a good deal more painful than scuffing socks on a carpet.

 “We work with the most unprofessional douchebags in existence,” Sollux continued irritably.

 Three months of working together and Dirk still had to suppress an amused smirk at the way the troll pronounced 'douchebags.'

 “What the fuck is this?” Sollux exclaimed suddenly. “What the actual fuck is this?”

 The sparks ceased as Sollux gestured frantically to his computer screen. The human leaned over and raised an eyebrow.

 “I think it might have been a vase,” he said slowly. “At one point, before someone completely manhandled it.”

 Sollux groaned and dropped his head onto the desk with a loud thud.

 “I don't think they understand the point of their job at all,” he sighed. Dirk nodded sympathetically.

They had conversations like this at least once a week. Crammed into a tiny office together, they probably would have been at each others' throats all the time without a mutual other topic to bitch about.

 Luckily, they were in charge of managing the data for two of the most incompetent archeology teams ever to exist. Dirk worked with his brother Dave and Dave's longtime girlfriend, Jade. Dave seemed to treat the whole venture as a challenge to find the weirdest shit possible. Jade usually got distracted by the local flora and fauna, and came back with living specimens instead of fossils.

 But really, he had it better than Sollux did. Sollux worked for the disastrous duo of Jake English and Aradia Megido, who were fully convinced that they were in an archeology action movie and not actual archeologists. Most of the photographs of their findings displayed objects that were not damaged prior to their discovery, but were now, like the vase in the current image, in far more pieces than they were ever meant to be.

 “I think we need to head out for drinks when we're done for the day,” Dirk declared.

 “ _Fuck_ yes,” Sollux agreed. “And maybe start hoarding some soporifics in here, as well,” he added flippantly.

 Dirk raised an eyebrow, not entirely sure if the troll was kidding or not. “Do you want the data to look as trashed as the specimens?”

 “Obviously not.”

 Sollux sighed, and the sparks resumed a moment later. Dirk clicked through the files that Dave had just emailed him. Sure enough, half the pictures were of plants. The other half was a mix of actual artifacts and really stupid selfies. This was fucking ridiculous; how the hell were they all managing to still get paid?

 After about an hour longer of processing similarly disastrous data, they declared they were done for the day. They technically weren't - there were still files to sort though - but they needed to be done for the sake of their mental health. Besides, if anyone out of the six deserved to slack off, it was them. The others didn't even do enough work to classify what they did the rest of the time as 'slacking off.'

 “Yet again, another day where everyone should consider themselves lucky I didn't psi-blast the whole building into oblivion,” Sollux muttered irritably as they headed out.

 Dirk glanced at him curiously. “Can you do that?”

 Sollux snorted derisively. “Can I do that, he asks. Of course I fucking can; do you have any idea how powerful my psionics are?”

 “Obviously I don't, since I'm asking.”

 “You never fucking asked before.”

 “Well I'm asking _now_ ,” Dirk said, a little exasperated.

 Apparently that was the wrong thing to say. He suddenly found himself levitating several feet above the ground. Startled, he struggled against the psychic energy that was holding him aloft. In the back of his mind it registered that contact with the red and blue energies wasn't painful, unlike the sparks Sollux typed with.

 “Does this answer your question?” Sollux asked in a bitter tone.

 “Put me down,” Dirk said as calmly as possible. “You've proved your point.”

 Thank god for quick reflexes, because Sollux just shrugged and dropped him. He managed to land mostly on his feet, only stumbling forward a little.

 “What the fuck?” the human demanded immediately. “Warn a guy, will you?”

 Sollux at least had the decency to look thoroughly chastened, the tips of his ears flushing yellow.

 “Sorry,” he mumbled to the ground. “That was inappropriate. I didn't even mean it. I'm a piece of shit.”

 Dirk sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Sollux hadn't actually hurt him, and he was apologizing, although how do you not mean to... _Oh_. It was his turn to flush slightly. He came to the realization all of the sudden that what Sollux had just done could probably be interpreted as black flirting among trolls.

 “Dude, it's fine,” he said, awkwardly patting Sollux's shoulder. The slightly shorter troll flinched. “No hard feelings. And I won't underestimate your abilities again. You could kick my ass with barely any effort.”

 “Damn right I could,” Sollux said, the visible tension in his body easing.

 Dirk had always felt pretty confident in his combat abilities, thanks to years of strifing with Dave, but the inherent psychic powers of the troll made his swordsmanship look like it really was child's play. The knowledge that Sollux could so readily have _complete control_ of him gave him an odd feeling. It was partially a healthy fear, because he wasn't a complete idiot, but it also incited a curiosity and a desire to push Sollux's buttons, just a little, to see how he would retaliate. If that was the result of a long day and mild irritation, what could he do if he was actually infuriated? Or, which was the real question preying on Dirk's mind, what would that degree of control look like in a setting that wasn't necessarily combative?

 Those thoughts were quickly wandering into some dangerous territory that he didn't need to deal with right then.

“So how about we go for those drinks that we obviously need?” he said lightly, and Sollux nodded in agreement.

 

* * *

 

When they arrived, the small bar was nearly empty, and the two archeology assistants were left in relative peace and quiet.

 “You know, AA and I used to be a thing,” Sollux told him conversationally several drinks into the evening.

 “AA?” Dirk asked, confused.

 “Sorry, Aradia,” he clarified. “She decided I was too moody.” While he didn't make motions, the quotation marks around 'too moody' were heavily implied in his tone. The troll chuckled humorlessly. “Didn't really gel with hersunshine and rainbows and _isn't the horrific ritual murder of ancient cultures fascinating_ outlook on life.”

 Dirk decided to not comment on the last item of that list. “But you still work with her?”

 Sollux responded with a shrug. “Why not? It's not like I ever really have to see her, and we parted on pretty amicable terms. As amicable as you can get. I mean, it's whatever. It's a job. I'm guessing you don't have the greatest of relations with your exes.”

 “There's a reason I work for my brother instead of having your job,” Dirk said in a subdued tone, running a fingertip around the top of his glass.

 “Huh? Oh. English. Never would have guessed that.”

 “It didn't last very long.”

 Sollux nodded and finished his drink in a single gulp.

 “Although I guess if I had really moved on I wouldn't be working with archeology at all,” Dirk admitted. “I take their joking rivalry a little more seriously than I should.”

 “So, do you consider _me_ your rival too?” Sollux asked, sounding amused.

 Dirk shook his head dismissively. “Nah, we're chill.”

 “Oh good, I was a little worried my earlier display of aggression might have ruined our friendship,” Sollux said sarcastically.

 His tone was glib, but Dirk could tell that Sollux had been harboring an actual measure of concern that his unintentional black advance had changed their dynamic.

 Prompted by lowered inhibitions, _thank you alcohol_ , Dirk to shifted a little closer to Sollux until their knees touched.

 “Do you want to ruin our friendship?” he asked with a smirk.

 Sollux stared at him for what felt like a solid minute before he answered.

 “You're being an even bigger shitheaded moron than usual right now,” the troll said with a slight smirk in return, resting one hand on Dirk's thigh. “I could pity you.”

 Dirk wasn't really sure how he felt about the 'pity' part, but the inebriation and thankfully enough mindfulness to be culturally sensitive kept him from commenting.

 Sollux was looking at him rather expectantly, very little space remaining between them. Now would be a perfect time to kiss him, Dirk realized, but he couldn't bring himself to lean forward and close the gap. Luckily, Sollux took the initiative, using his psionics to shift the stool Dirk was sitting on, nearly dumping him into the troll's lap.

 “That was an invitation, dumbass,” Sollux said with an exaggerated eye-roll. “Did you need it engraved on fancy stationery? No, actually, don't even answer that.”

 It's not like Sollux really gave him an opportunity to answer, anyway. Sollux was suddenly kissing him so firmly he could feel the outlines of his fangs behind his lips. After a moment of awkward deliberation, he wrapped his arms around the troll's neck to pull himself closer. The shift unbalanced his stool and they both promptly toppled to the floor.

 “Fuck, ow,” Sollux exclaimed.

 They managed to avoid an embarrassing shoujo manga trope by Dirk catching himself on his hands and knees, well above Sollux's prone figure.

 “Are you done swooning over me like a schoolgirl?” the troll asked, pushing Dirk up with a hand in the middle of his chest. “All I did was kiss you once, has it really been that long since you got any?”

 Dirk knew Sollux was just fucking around, but it hit a little too close to the truth for him to just shrug it off with a snappy comeback.

 “Something like that,” he muttered, getting to his feet and offering a hand up to Sollux. The troll ignored it in favor of just levitating himself back up.

 “So this is probably the part where someone asks your place or mine, isn't it?” Sollux said with a sigh.

 “Well, we are relatively intoxicated and we did just kiss, so unless you want to be really cliché and do it in the bathroom, that is the next logical step.”

 “And risk hundreds of freaky inter-species diseases? Fuck no. Your place or mine?”

 

* * *

 

“Did someone light a fuse up your ass or in any way create some kind of time constraint that I don't know about?”

 Dirk glanced up from his very important task of kissing every inch of Sollux's neck when the troll made that rather clipped comment. Pretty much the moment they'd gotten back to Dirk's place he'd pinned Sollux up against the wall and pressed their lips together heatedly. Now that he knew for certain that the troll was interested in kissing him, he felt a lot less apprehensive about doing so.

 “It is physically possible to just say something simple like 'hey, I think we should slow down' without turning it into a snarky one liner from a bad sitcom, you know,” he said dryly.

 “Oh, like you're really one to talk,” Sollux retorted. “I am 99.9% convinced you have a notebook of snarky one-liners to use at opportune times.”

 He was still awkwardly hunched over the troll, arms around his narrow waist. “Okay so has this been long enough of a break because I'd really like to keep kissing you and possibly start undressing you right about now,” he said.

 “Actually,” Sollux said, lightly pushing him away. “I'm having second thoughts and I want to stop.”

 “What, why?”Dirk frowned but let the troll push him out of his personal space. His confidence in Sollux's interest promptly disappeared.

 Sollux gave him a look that strongly conveyed how he felt about Dirk needing to ask. Now he officially felt like shit.

“Geez, I wonder,” he retorted. “Maybe because this is a drunken hookup after we spent some time talking about exes and feeling sorry for ourselves. And then we have to go back to working in the same tiny room for weeks on end.”

 “We're not that drunk,” Dirk argued immediately.

 He received a _look_ again. He felt moderately chastened.

 “I just think this is a bad idea and I'm trying to sensible for both of us here,” Sollux explained. “Since _obviously_ you're just thinking with your dick. You don't even like me.”

 “Clearly I do like you, else I wouldn't have been intent on getting you naked and in bed.”

 “That's not what I meant, asshole. Being attracted to me and liking me are two entirely different cans of dirt noodles.”

 Dirk made a face at the troll term. “I did not need to think of worms like that, ever, but okay. I'm really not sure why you think I don't like you.”

 “Oh please, I'm not stupid. Why would _anyone_ like someone like me?”

 The question eerily echoed Dirk's own unspoken thoughts. He sighed slightly and ran a hand through his hair. “I could say the same thing to you,” he said with a shrug. “Yet here we are. Seriously though, we spend our time in a cardboard box of a room, hunched over computers, dealing with really stressful people. If we weren't at least a little bit compatible we'd have killed each other by now.”

 Sollux smirked. “You mean I would have killed you. Your puny human 'swordsmanship' skills are nothing against my psionics.”

 Dirk's mind promptly did an acrobatic fucking pirouette into the gutter. “I wouldn't mind another demonstration of just how helpless I am against those,” he said suggestively, leaning in again and placing one hand on Sollux's hip.

 The troll gave him an exasperated look. “Are you seriously still trying to get in my pants?”

 Dirk groaned and rubbed his temple with his other hand. “Look, I'm a little bit drunk and a lot into you. You're hot, you've got the same damn inadequacy issues I do, and you have freaky mind powers that I really want you to use in bed.”

 “Calling them freaky mind powers isn't really the most smooth and seductive line in the book.”

 “Do you want to have sex with me or not? I want a straight answer, not 'oh we'll regret it in the morning' bullshit.”

 Sollux hesitated and Dirk remained silent, waiting for his answer.

 “I want to have sex with you,” the troll finally said. “But I don't want us to act like nothing ever happened after this.”

 “... are you saying you want to go out with me?”

 Sollux wrinkled his nose. “Well if you want to put it in wiggler terms, yeah.”

 Dirk huffed a quiet, short laugh, pulling Sollux close again. “You could have just said so, dumbass.”

 “Don't pin this entirely on me, shithead,” the troll protested, although he readily draped his arms around Dirk's neck again. “You could just as easily have said something, too.”

“We're both idiots with communication issues, happy?”

 “I will be if you shut up and start kissing me again.”

 

* * *

 

 

“So were you serious about me using psionics in bed?” Sollux asked as their sloppy kissing and groping finally brought them into Dirk's bedroom, both of them half naked and already sporting bruises across their necks and shoulders.

 “Yeah,” Dirk breathed against Sollux's ear, lightly grinding their hips together as he pressed him up against the bedroom door.

 “That's kinda hot.”

 “That's kinda the point.”

 Dirk promptly found himself with his arms held over his head, his wrists trapped by red and blue sparks. He inhaled sharply, his pulse jumping.

 “You are actually into this, you kinky fuck,” Sollux said, though his tone was more thawing disbelief than it was reprehension.

 “Guilty as charged,” the human replied with a lazy grin. He absently tugged at the sparks. His arms didn't move. This was going to be fun.

“Since my hands are kind of incapacitated at the moment, would you mind undoing my pants for me?” he asked, still grinning.

Sollux gave him an unamused look. “Either you want me to take control or you don't.”

Dirk immediately looked down, contrition written on his face.

He stepped forward and placed one hand lightly in the center of Dirk's chest before trailing one finger downward to the button on his jeans. Dirk's breath hitched slightly. Sollux retracted his hand completely and grinned.

“That's what it is, isn't it?” he said in a low voice. “The control. You micro-manage every other aspect of your life, but it gets you off to have that control taken away.”

 Dirk swallowed hard. Having Sollux figure that out was more of a turn on than anything else they'd done up to this point. “God, yeah,” Dirk said, straining towards the troll ineffectively.

 “How much do you trust me, Dirk?” Sollux asked, stepping into his personal space again, their lips almost touching, but not quite.

 “Right now? With my life.”

 “Good.”

 Dirk blinked and he was laying flat on his back on the bed, just a tad motion sick. “Holy shit,” he murmured.

 “Impressed?” Sollux asked smugly, climbing onto the bed beside him.

 Dirk gave a hum of assent that turned into a soft moan when the troll placed his hand over the visible bulge in his jeans. He arched up slightly and Sollux promptly pressed his entire body flat against the mattress with psionics. He shuddered, whining softly.

 “You're going to purposely push me to get a response, aren't you?” Sollux asked softly, shifting to bridge over the human. “You aren't satisfied unless you're certain my control is absolute.”

 “I don't really believe in half-assing anything” Dirk replied, smirking slightly.

“That's good, it would be pretty hard to fuck half an ass,” Sollux quipped, leaning down to press a soft kiss right below Dirk's ear.

 The human sighed, struggling slightly at the psionics that were restraining him completely as Sollux trailed his kisses downward.

 “Human bodies are so weird,” the troll said conversationally. “No grub scars.” He stroked his fingers over Dirk's ribs.

“Don't do that!” Dirk exclaimed, flinching slightly. “I'm, uh, I'm ticklish,” he admitted.

 “Ticklish,” Sollux said flatly.

 Dirk flushed. “Yeah.”

 Sollux cast his eyes upward as if he was appealing to a higher power. “You can rendered powerless by touching certain parts of your body because you're _ticklish_. Humans are some of the most poorly designed creatures in the universe.”

 He retracted his hands from Dirk's ribs nonetheless and continued kissing down to the top of his jeans.

 “Are you sure you really want to do this?” Sollux asked suddenly, releasing Dirk from the psionics as his hands hovered hesitantly over the fly of the human's jeans.

 Dirk sat up slightly. “Obviously,” he said, his voice a little impatient. “Why are you having second thoughts _again_?”

 “You know that trolls have different anatomy, right?”

 “Does the word _xenophilia_ mean anything to you?”

 “That's not actually what that word means, stupid.”

 “Etymologically it does.”

 Sollux groaned, rolling his eyes. “You're killing the mood.”

 “You are the one who stopped first,” Dirk pointed out. “Look, I dig alien dick, and depending on your particular predilections, I'd be down for having said dick up in my plush rump.”

 “I'm going to pretend you didn't just use the least sexy term imaginable to describe your ass.”

 Sollux finally undid Dirk's jeans and pulled them down. Dirk sighed slightly, relieved to no longer feel so constrained. Once the article of clothing was gone, however, he immediately noticed that the troll was still hesitating, making no motion to continue after that.

 “Hey, come here,” Dirk said quietly, beckoning.

 Sollux just stared at him, lightly chewing his lower lip absently.

 “Please,” Dirk added.

 Sollux sighed and flopped down on the bed next to him. Dirk pulled him into his arms gently.

 “Do _you_ not want to do this?” he asked, lightly rubbing the troll's back.

 “No, no, I do,” Sollux said, but his voice was uncertain.

 “We don't have to,” Dirk told him in a more gentle tone than was usual for him. He was well aware of the fact that he could be extremely caustic and pushy, but he wasn't enough of a complete asshole to force the troll into something he didn't want.

 Sollux sighed and nuzzled against Dirk's shoulder. “Have you ever had sex with a troll before?” he asked, his voice a little muffled from having his mouth pressed against the human's skin.

 “No,” Dirk admitted. “But I don't really see how that's relevant. And before you start explaining anything, I do watch inter-species porn. So I'm not totally ignorant.”

 Sollux snorted slightly. “Of course you do. Got any other weird kinks?”

 “Loads. You sure you're ready to hear 'em all right now?”

 The troll shook his head. “Save some surprises for later,” he said with a slight smirk. He absently ran his fingertip along Dirk's collarbone. Impulsively, Dirk pulled Sollux closer and kissed him. Somewhat to his surprise, the troll kissed back.

 They kissed languidly for several minutes, Sollux eventually ending up back on top of Dirk. Dirk slowly slid his hands down Sollux's back, tucking his fingertips under the waistband of his jeans. The troll immediately stiffened and started to pull away.

 “Sorry,” Dirk said softly, retracting his hands. “Can I just ask what you're so afraid of?”

 “Just everything I've been saying all night that _apparently_ you weren't even listening to,” Sollux said irritably, sitting up and moving away.

 “I already told you this isn't just a drunken hookup,” Dirk said, pushing himself up as well. “I also basically said that I want to be in a relationship with you.”

 “For how long?” Sollux exclaimed, psionic sparks flashing around his eyes slightly. “Until you get sick of dealing with my mood swings? Because it will happen, I can guarantee it. I wear people out. I'm not worth the effort.”

 Dirk raised an eyebrow slightly. “ _That's_ what you're concerned about?” he asked flatly.

 “Oh, thanks, trivialize my feelings while you're at it,” Sollux snapped.

 Dirk shook his head. “No, that's not what I meant,” he explained, reaching out to place a hand on the troll's shoulder. Sollux pulled away, glaring. “I thought you understood that I'm basically in the same boat as you. We might as well be co-captains of the S.S. Self Loathing. Guaranteed to hit an iceberg on her maiden voyage, and probably catch fire as she's sinking, too.”

 Sollux raised an eyebrow. “That metaphor needs to hit an iceberg and sink to the bottom of the ocean,” he said.

 Dirk nodded slightly in agreement. That one had gotten away from him almost immediately. “What I'm saying is – I get it. Especially being too emotionally demanding for someone else. Believe me, I totally understand. And, well, if you wanted to pity me for that, I could pity you, too.”

 “That was one of the dumbest things I have ever heard you say. But I appreciate the sentiment.”

 Dirk held his breath, waiting for the situation to swing one way or the other.

 “So about those kinks...” Sollux said, his smirk accompanied with a raised eyebrow.

 Dirk grinned and pulled the troll by wrist back down onto the bed.

 

Some time and less clothing later, Dirk was kneeling on his bed, his hands trapped against the headboard by the troll's psychic energy. Aforementioned troll was pressed against his back, kissing his neck and driving him crazy with his bulge rubbing tantalizingly against his ass.

 “Sollux, please,” he whined as the troll continued to tease him with his slick bulge.

 All the troll porn he'd watched hadn't prepared him for just how prehensile it was. He'd moaned embarrassingly loudly the first time it actively wrapped around him and _stroked_.

 “Please what, Dirk?” Sollux asked teasingly, kissing his shoulder. “Be specific.”

 “Please fuck me into the goddamn mattress already because I've been wanting it ever since we left that fucking bar!”

 “You sound like a porno.”

 “Just _fuck me already_.”

 Dirk gasped as Sollux promptly complied with his demand. The natural fluids of troll genitalia was certainly handy, although the feeling wasn't immediately comfortable. He bit his lip and tried not to squirm as his body adjusted. His bulge was thinner and more pliant than a human dick, but considerably longer. He involuntarily tightened up as the tip probed deeper than he was okay with.

“Alright?” Sollux asked, a little bit breathless.

 “Yeah,” Dirk confirmed, “just try not to go so deep.”

 “Right, sorry. This is kind of weird,” Sollux commented quietly.

 Dirk snorted slightly in amusement. “So after everything you asked me about troll sex, you've never fucked a human before?” he asked.

 “Shut the fuck up,” Sollux snapped, and Dirk felt his bulge actually _ripple_ inside of him.

 “Oh holy shit,” he breathed. “Do that again.”

 “What, this?”

 The action was repeated and Dirk moaned. “Yeah, that.”

 Dirk could feel Sollux's grin against his shoulder. “Maybe all humans really do sound like porn,” the troll teased.

 “If you fuck me harder, you can probably make me scream,” Dirk offered helpfully.

 “That was the slickest attempt at asking to be fucked harder without actually begging.”

 “Thank you, now if you would- oh god _fuck_!” Dirk was cut off by the troll actually complying with his request, erasing anything from his mind besides exclamations of expletives.

 Despite his self-professed ignorance with the experience, Sollux very quickly figured out the different mechanics of sex with a human. As he thrust into Dirk he contorted his bulge to be thicker and harder, and when he pulled out he thinned it again with that tantalizing ripple. Dirk was pretty sure he was actually moaning and begging like a porn actor, but he also did not give a single shit. This was hands down the best sex he'd ever had. He really should have considered dating trolls a whole lot sooner.

 Although he hadn't really considered dating anyone for quite some time and wow was he really getting emo and introspective while having sex? He overcompensated for his inattentiveness by pushing back against Sollux, throwing off their rhythm for a few seconds.

 “I'm going to restrain more of you if you do that again,” Sollux warned irritably. Dirk was temporarily tempted to experiment with that before his body informed him he was much more interested in having an orgasm sometime in the next few minutes than he was in messing around with more complex forms of psychic bondage.

 “Nn, fuck, Sollux, I need,” he moaned breathlessly. His release was nearing but the penetrative stimulation he was receiving alone wasn't enough to take him all the way. “Touch me, please.”

 “Yeah I kind of figured you wanted that, since you're whining like a barkbeast in heat,” Sollux responded, his voice a low rasp.

 Dirk came embarrassingly quickly after Sollux started to stroke him with his hand, moaning the troll's name.

 “Oh, shit!” Sollux exclaimed. He clutched at Dirk's hips and shuddered. “Fuck, fuck, I'm sorry, this is going to make such a mess,” he whined. “I forgot about a goddamn bucket, don't have time...”

 “It's okay,” Dirk panted, slumped slightly against his arms that were still being held in place with Sollux's psionics. A corner of his mind marveled at how much control the troll had over them that they stayed even when he was on the brink of orgasm. “It's okay,” he repeated. “Just let it go.”

 Sollux moaned lowly and his bulge pulsed. Dirk made a face as he experienced the rather uncomfortable sensation of being filled with the troll's genetic material. It was more liquid feeling than he expected, and ruefully he realized how much cleanup was going to be involved.

 “Sorry, sorry,” Sollux said again once he'd finished and pulled out of him, belatedly realizing that he needed to remove the psychic bonds holding Dirk captive.

 “It's fine, really,” Dirk assured him, turning around to pull the troll into his arms and cuddle him. “We should have thought of it ahead of time.”

 “I honestly didn't expect you to actually go through with this,” Sollux confessed, nestling lazily against Dirk.

 “You're a fucking dumbass,” the human said affectionately.

 “Takes one to know one,” Sollux replied.

 “I cannot dispute that.”

 “Your bed is sort of a mess now.”

 “I can deal with it in the morning, because right now we are going to cuddle, dammit.”

 Sollux laughed softly. “So the cool guy is actually the sort that insists on cuddling after sex, cute.”

 “If you call me cute again I'll start calling you cute.”

 “Oh we are _not_ having this argument,” Sollux groaned, covering his face in embarrassment.

 “Yeah that was kind of juvenile,” Dirk admitted.

 “Just shut up and cuddle me already.”

 “You don't have to tell me... _twice_.”

 “I fucking hate you so much right now.”

 Dirk laughed and kissed Sollux's forehead. “You're just mad that I made a duality pun and you didn't.”

 “Yeah kind of,” the troll relented. “Now seriously, shut the fuck up.”

 Dirk sighed softly and pulled Sollux close, mindful of his horns. “So, can we start exploring other kinks tomorrow or is that moving too fast?”

 He just barely managed to avoid being elbowed in the ribs.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I know the general headcanon is that Sollux has TWO bulges but that just sort of over-complicated things so I decided to do away with it. I am very sorry unu


End file.
